I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
