never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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