was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
pray to the hookup gods
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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