I can tuck mytits in my pants
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
