i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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