Say something about gay babies.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
