Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
