Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
