The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
