hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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