Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize