just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
