Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
