My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
