he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize