I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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