youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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