I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
