Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
