I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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