thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
