One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
