Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
