put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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