is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Randomize
