How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize