shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
