Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There are leaves in my underwear?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
