I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
