Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
