This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
