I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
