I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We have started to decorate penises.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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