I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
