I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
