Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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