We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
