So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
