Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
