hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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