Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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