break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
