Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize