We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Semen is not good for contacts.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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