i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
