woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
