I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
