there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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