Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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