I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you inspire me to be a worse person
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
