VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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