i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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