she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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