a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
