I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
