I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize