After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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