haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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