I wish my penis had an off switch
I want to have your abortion
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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