I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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