fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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